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for you. The only other place, up high near your neck, is also awkward.
He could see her dilemma, but he also had a quick solution to the problem. He
placed his hands on her hips and scooted backward, bringing her with him. She let
out a small squeal when he lifted her and brought her down so that she straddled
his waist. When he lay back, he ensured that Laurel fell forward.
An eternity passed while she hovered over him, staring into his eyes. Her
breath caressed his face as she remained frozen in place, as if torn on how to
proceed. He almost saw her mind racing toward a decision. An urge to cup her face
between his hands, pull her down, and kiss her with a passion that built within him
grew with every second her legs remained locked around his waist. It didn t make
sense that the position, one that left her very much in control, could arouse him so.
52 Dee Carney
He only knew the ache began to strip away some of his resolve. The slow simmer of
blood in his veins reminded him of how much he was attracted to her.
Laurel. He almost whimpered in frustration. It wasn t just how she affected
him as a man that made his breath quicken. The dark within him had been aroused
too. He felt it stir, awakening a hunger within him that her mere presence could
instigate.
He sucked in his breath when she sat up, the heat between her legs grazing
against his belly. His gaze traveled past her to watch her twist to locate her bag of
tricks. When she held it, she rummaged inside and extracted a cotton swab and the
minibottle of peroxide.
Her actions were quick, efficient, and it reminded him that she d done this
dozens, if not hundreds, of times before. She inched forward a little when done
soaking the cotton, and he almost groaned out loud. To help prevent infection, she
murmured as she dragged the sodden material over his skin.
Jonah tried to slow his breathing or at least lie perfectly still when she brought
her face closer to his chest. She glanced up at him one last time, as if seeking his
permission before the cool tip of the razor touched him. He gave her a curt nod, and
his entire body tensed as every nerve ending congregated on where the razor
pierced through his flesh.
The dark screamed at him, but for the first time in a long time, he could ignore
it. His focus went straight to the sharp drag of metal and then the flash in Laurel s
eyes when she glanced up at him before lowering her gaze again.
She did it twice more, cutting deeply each time. It had to be deep if she was
going to leave scars behind. He imagined that she d split him open from just
beneath his clavicle and stopped somewhere midstomach. His intellect reminded
him, however, that the cuts on her had been about a quarter-inch long. Despite how
it felt, he wouldn t expect her to stray from her normal pattern. In any event, the
pain didn t stop him from becoming as hard as granite.
Interdependence 53
Tenderly, Laurel dabbed where he stung with a screaming precision that made
his breath catch. She did this to herself every day? On purpose?
Silence stretched between them before she seemed satisfied with her
handiwork. Trickles of blood no longer tickled him, so she must have stemmed its
flow during her ministrations. Her face was flushed, and as he watched the rapid
rise and fall of her chest, he had the sudden realization that perhaps she found this
as erotic as he did.
He kept his voice just above a whisper, not wanting to break the mood. The
next time you feel the need to do this to yourself, I want you to promise that you ll
find me. We ll do this again.
The pulse at the base of her neck quickened. Jonah, you don t have
I want to do this with you, Laurel. Will you promise me? I m not asking you to
stop on yourself. That s too much, too fast probably. But for every cut you put on
yourself, I want you to put one on me. Whether she realized it or not, every time
she thought about cutting herself, she might be less likely to do it knowing she
would assign the same punishment on him.
What if I can t stop ever? What if this goes on for years?
If that s what it takes to slowly transition the hurting from you to me, then
that s what it takes.
I don t know if I ll be able to stop, she protested again softly.
You ll stop. I have no doubt. Until then, you and me, okay?
She bit her lip but nodded. When she sat up, her butt grazed the top of his
erection, and she went still again.
Thank you, she murmured as she peered at him beneath hooded eyes.
He nodded, trying to focus on the simple act of breathing, but Laurel s hips
tilted beneath his hands, the motion increasing the friction between her thighs and
his clothed cock. And the thing of it was, she moved so slowly, so casually, he almost
54 Dee Carney
wasn t sure if she did it on purpose. If it wasn t an accident, she seemed to revel in
teasing him, in arousing him to the point where his dick hardened beyond reason.
He couldn t say why his gaze finally dropped, but it did, just in time to catch
the silhouette of her breasts beneath her shirt. To see her hardened nipples
pressing against the soft fabric. An ache throbbed in his testicles, both the dark and
his body warring in their need to connect with Laurel. To fill her with himself and
then his essence. The dark wanted to destroy her, while his body needed to love her.
He hadn t noticed how tight his grip on her hips had become until she winced.
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