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Marshall met her eyes. Will he come here, to Montreal?
Yes.
Will you see him?
Probably not.
You have to, you have to see him for me, he leaned over the
desk, his eyes desperate.
Marshall, it s unethical, she said with a sigh. She wanted to yell at
him to stop this foolishness, but she bit her tongue.
He shook his head. Then I have to see him, Nat. I have to.
She stood up. Out of the question, she snapped. Taking a few
breaths, she brought herself under control again and asked him about
his new cell.
All right, he replied. Secure.
Good. Don t do anything to get into trouble. I ll see you soon.
* * * *
It would have been a challenge to get into trouble in solitary. He stayed
alone most of the time, seeing no one. He watched television, read
books and felt safe because Hal couldn t get to him.
They were still investigating what happened to him in the courtyard,
but Marshall knew nothing would come of it. Hal was sly as a fox and
he made sure no one had seen anything. But Marshall would
remember it for the rest of his life.
The day it had happened, he had gone out in the courtyard to take
a few minutes of air. He was just about to go back inside when he felt
someone grab him from behind. He felt the pain everywhere and he
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remembered he d covered his eyes and his face had felt as if they were
on fire. That s all he remembered.
He d awakened in the hospital. The doctor had told him he was
lucky to be alive. Six weeks later, they d taken the bandages off his face
and he d looked at himself in the mirror and screamed. He hadn t
known the person looking back at him. Now, he couldn t even
remember what he d looked like anymore.
He had one ragged scar, which ran from his left eye to his right
cheek, right across his nose. Another one ran across his forehead and
highlighted several small ones on the right side of his chin.
He had lost his gallbladder, his spleen and had come close to
losing one of his kidneys. He had been lucky, the doctor said, but he
didn t feel lucky. He lamented the fact that he had been handsome at
one time. Now at twenty-two, he was a monster. The inside had finally
come out.
The prison shrink put him on a higher dose of Paxil, which was
supposed to make him less depressed. The only thing that prevented
him from killing himself was the thought that soon Angelo would be in
the same city.
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Chapter 81
ngelo left for Zurich two days before Christmas. Robert was very
A
happy to see him. They spent most of those two days skiing and
on Christmas Eve they sat together in front of a roaring fire, drinking
wine.
Robert watched him as he stared into the fire. He wasn t happy,
that s for sure. In fact, he looked extremely sad all of a sudden.
Where are you, Angelo? Robert said suddenly.
What? He seemed surprised.
Where are you? Because you aren t here with me.
I was& he paused, I guess I was thinking about what I was
doing last year at this time.
Which was? Don t tell me. You were with him! Robert slapped his
hands together, his voice sarcastic, angry.
Angelo nodded. Yes. I was with him. We were in Rome.
How fucking romantic, Robert commented, draining his glass.
Are we going to go down memory lane now?
Angelo looked at him and shook his head. No. I m sorry. I
just& sometimes I can t help but think of
Him! Robert growled, The guy who almost killed you!
Robert, Angelo sighed deeply. You have to understand
something. I loved him. I was in love with this guy. I know it would be
terrific if I could just wipe him from my mind, but I can t.
He leaned back for a moment and closed his eyes. All the horrible
things he did, they don t negate the good things. We had good times,
Robert. I have memories that I just can t paint black because things
went to shit. I wish I could forget I ever laid eyes on him. But there s a
court case that stays around to remind me.
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He didn t realize he was on his feet and that he was shaking, until
Robert came over and gently took his arm. I m sorry. I didn t mean to
upset you. I had no right to& Robert bit his lip. I just wish you
could put this behind you and
I will once the trial is all over, Robert. Then maybe I can get on
with my life.
Robert smiled as Angelo ran a hand through his hair. Look, it s
Christmas Eve. Let s just relax and
Angelo met his eyes. Do you want me tonight, Robert?
Robert s heart went to his throat. What? You mean it& you&
Angelo pulled him into his arms and kissed him tenderly on the
mouth. Make love to me, he whispered softly. I m tired of sleeping
alone.
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Chapter 82
hree prisoners committed suicide over the Christmas holidays.
T
Although they tried to keep it quiet, the news always got out. Even
Marshall heard it in solitary.
Natalie brought him chocolates and two cartons of cigarettes for
Christmas, which was really nice of her, because she was constantly on
his back to quit smoking.
He made her a card and bought her some nice stationary at the
canteen. In the card, he wrote, to the second person in my life who
ever really cared.
She was very touched by the sentiment.
On Christmas Eve, he dreamed of Angelo. They were making love.
He woke up sticky and covered with his own semen. He cleaned
himself up and stood looking out the window. He could see Christmas
lights across the city. They reminded him of what the lights had looked
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