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fully, I possess no such stain on my integrity. Simply being myself should
do the trick, I thought, as I ambled confidently through the courthouse s
metal detector (emptying my pockets and keeping mum on the whole
anarchist issue).
Nothing went quite as planned. I spent the morning reading a terrific
new crime novel set in Oslo (The Redbreast, by Jo Nesbo) and waiting to
hear my number called. Fortunately, it wasn t, despite my complete fail-
ure to employ the appropriate creative-visualization strategy. Just try not
imagining the number 283 being intoned by the formidable bureaucrat
standing before you. In the afternoon, however, all those 283s I was try-
ing not to send to Ms. Bureaucrat found their undesired target, and I was
instructed to muster for duty.
Into the courtroom we marched, myself and 30 other citizens, all
girding our loins to be of service to democracy. Loins turned out to be
the operative word, too, as the case before us involved what the judge
demurely described as indecent solicitation. Some of my fellow pro-
spective jurors gasped audibly when it turned out that we might wind up
on a jury trying a middle-aged defendant accused of using the Internet to
seduce a minor. Nothing like a sex crime to jolt even a cynical citizen into
paying attention.
Naturally, juror number 283 was the third person called by the judge
to be interviewed. Before I set foot in the courtroom, I had pondered
what I would say if I made it to this stage. I saw myself taking no nonsense
from weaselly lawyers or supercilious judges. No, I would shoot from the
hip, like Norman Mailer did when questioned by Judge Hoffman during
the Chicago Seven trial. Mr. Mailer, please stick to the facts, the judge
cautioned, interrupting Stormin Norman in full rant. But your Honor,
Mailer replied, facts without nuance are nothing. Maybe I d even have
occasion to quote Mailer.
LIFE BEYOND BOOKS 153
n
Well, readers, I wimped out. It wasn t just the seriousness of the crime
that undid me, I m sorry to say. No, I turned to jelly as soon as I sat down
in the courtroom and got a look at the judge. There s something about a
guy wearing a big, flowing Old Testamenty robe, sitting a few feet above
everybody else, and occasionally banging a gavel that makes you feel like
a nine-year-old who forgot to clean his room. I dutifully testified to my
ability to view erotic pictures and listen to explicit e-mails without letting
either affect my ability to render an impartial verdict, and I even politely
explained to the judge what was involved in being the editor of a book-
review journal. No mention of anarchy; no Mailer quotes.
Then came the prosecutor, who opined that I must read a lot in my job
and proceeded to ask what I liked to read. Crime fiction, I replied, hon-
estly. And have you ever read a novel about a case similar to this one?
Many, I admitted, thinking of, among others, the novels of John Harvey
and Michael Connelly, which have included plotlines concerning sexual
abuse. And did any of the novels you ve read ever make you sympathetic
to the defendants in these cases? Some did, and some didn t. What
was the difference? Context.
It wasn t exactly facts without nuance are nothing, but it was enough
to get me excused from the case. The juror interviewed before me was
also excused, seemingly because she testified that her belief in the
Bible would make it difficult for her to treat the defendant objectively. It
occurred to me as I left the courthouse free at last that one of us had
been excused for reading too many books and the other for having read
only one. Whatever works.
Booklist, August 2007
154 LIFE BEYOND BOOKS
n
Quizzes
TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS NOT
WE VE ALL BEEN TOLD at some point or other to trust our instincts, go with
our first choices, don t second-guess ourselves. Former Booklist Adult Books Edi-
tor Martin Brady called this timeless advice the Sister Catherine Agnes Rule, after
his second-grade teacher who inculcated her charges early on with the wisdom of
following their initial vibes, though she may not have used the word vibes. Well,
we can only hope that graduates of the Sister Catherine Agnes school of decision
making didn t go into the movie business. Even a cursory glance at Jeff Burkhart
and Bruce Stuart s Hollywood s First Choices: How the Great Casting Decisions
Were Made (Crown) shows that, when casting movie roles, first choices are often
disastrous. Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman swapping obscenities in Who s Afraid
of Virginia Woolf? Now there s a plan in serious need of second-guessing.
The list below includes a few more really bad casting ideas hatched by mis-
guided producers and directors. Try matching them with the actors in the second
column, who actually got the parts. For the story of how it all happened, consult the
anecdote-rich book. And somebody, please send Sister Catherine Agnes a copy.
Booklist, April 15, 1994
FIRST CHOICES FINAL CHOICES
1. Claudette Colbert as Margo a. Richard Burton and
Channing in All about Eve Elizabeth Taylor
2. Mae West as Norma Desmond in b. James Mason
Sunset Boulevard c. Bette Davis
3. Marlon Brando as T. E. Lawrence d. Frank Sinatra
in Lawrence of Arabia e. Cary Grant
4. Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman f. Faye Dunaway
as George and Martha in Who s g. Peter O Toole
Afraid of Virginia Woolf? h. Anne Bancroft
5. Eli Wallach as Maggio in From i. Marlon Brando
Here to Eternity j. Gloria Swanson
6. Laurence Olivier as Don Corleone
in The Godfather
7. Doris Day as Mrs. Robinson in The
Graduate
8. Bob Hope as Mortimer Brewster
in Arsenic and Old Lace
9. Ali MacGraw as Evelyn Mulwray
in Chinatown
10. Noel Coward as Humbert
Humbert in Lolita
157
; 10-b
; 7-h; 8-e; 9-f
I
1-c; 2-j; 3-g; 4-a; 5-d; 6-
:
S
ER
W
S
N
A
WORKING TITLES
DO BOOK TITLES MATTER? According to a recent article by Caroline Baum
in The Age (Melbourne), they certainly do. No, I m not a regular reader of Aus-
tralian newspapers, but fortunately, there are a handful of Web surfers at Booklist
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